First time I started to really try to learn and understand more about gay rights was when I lived in Istanbul in 2011. I have met many gay guys who became close friends and it was one of those unique moments in my life when I was extremely confused to the point that one day I sat down by myself and started crying. I cried because I felt there was injustice somewhere but I couldn’t identify it, or because I felt that it was just out of question that I go against any religious position towards homosexuality. I cried because my friends then were so kind to me, so thoughtful more than I would have expected. I cried because I looked at a human being for first time without labeling him under any gender or religion. I cried because I had a comfortable relationship with them although it was supposed not to be. I cried certainly because I couldn’t talk about it and till now, never dared to express any opinion publicly because I am afraid of receiving hate speeches from all my surrounding.

I am not getting into any arguments on homosexuality, if it’s “natural”, “physical”, “psychological”… or any of these arguments, I really don’t want to get there. What I’ve learnt so far is that it is NONE of my business to blame someone for his sexual orientation, which goes completely against what any institution in my culture and religion would have dictated. And I know and what makes me feel sad is that even this very single and simple thought of “their choice, not my business” will bother many many people.

Last day I watched a video that shows a gay guy in Morocco beaten up in the streets of Fes, and I felt again that all pseudo motives which stand behind any belief that allows an individual or group of people to attack, another human being, are simply nonsense and also a crime more harmful than any harm that homosexuality would do to them.

I recognize that sometimes and specifically in the beginning I felt uncomfortable with any idea that supports LGBT rights, especially when you grow up in a whole different culture for 30 years that consider those rights as a sin, a forbidden behavior.

“I don’t buy that” was until very recently my “in within” answer to this entire topic. I couldn’t tell either side what I felt about this, I was just confused and hopeful that someday no one will ask me to vote and make a Yes or No choice because I may win loves as I may lose loves.

Today I know that one of the closest people to my heart made his decision to come out of the closet and despite the fact that I still don’t dare to challenge my religion and culture and wear a rainbow shirt, I know that no matter what the universe would say, I will protect him and support him and that is my final word.


Safa H.



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