If the mind would speak it probably won’t make sense of its own words. Goodness, I can’t believe that it has been 10 months since I started the fellowship. The last ten months have been a time of self-reflection, learning, and pushing myself for greater heights. I will admit that there were days when I questioned my resolve to be here and when I missed my familiar environment. However, in those quiet moments, I reminded me of the old adage that you must dress up and show up.
Just like the rowing boats, be still and full of expectations. The best in my fellowship is yet to come. The next two months are going to be great if not amazing.
My host organization and the city of San Francisco has become home. Growing up I watched movies and I would be blown away by the golden gate bridge. This desire to visit California has been inscribed in my mind as long as I can remember. So when I got an opportunity to be a satellite fellow to be based in San Francisco it reminded me of a friend I once met from college who was born and raised in California. I soon went to his profile pic to have a sense of what awaited my arrival and just to have a glimpse of beautiful California. Afterward, I found myself googling “ten things to do in San Francisco”. I am the person who plans everything I intend to do and try and follow my plan as much as I can because I believe in the saying that, “failure to plan is planning to fail”. When I landed in San Francisco, I already had my list with me and I would check them off as soon as the activity was done. Look at me now, I am racing up against time and things beyond my control.
For the last two months, a lot has changed. My routine changed, my plans became to a halt and the days of the weeks have just become days. When I left the office on the 5th, my host organization expected us to return to work but in a new office setting. This office moving project had been going on since I joined this organization. The new beautiful space looked inviting and to be honest I was really looking forward to be in the new office by Mid-month. Clearly that is not likely to happen. However, in the midst of all that is happening, I have had the opportunity to think and reflect on whatever it is that is going on in the world.
Well, time waits for no one, and my resolve to find things to do around my neighborhood has become a thing. And I say a thing unashamed. I have discovered amazing hidden gems that I never knew existed. Going for the evening walks have become a ritual that I do religiously because it reminds me of what a time to be alive. I find myself walking and then standing at a spot for over 30 minutes and let my mind wander freely and see the possibility that the world has to offer. When this picture was taken at Lake Meritt, I asked myself how much even the boats in the still waters are expectant of returning to the waters and experience their lake someday in the near future. It struck me that, at this time, it is excruciatingly painful to go through distancing, grief, loss, and more sore the lack of making sense of what is going on but one thing remains that we should never lose the ability to expect a better tomorrow, a better day.