Recently, I read a book called, ‘Maybe It’s You’ by Lauren Zander. The book talks about 12 areas of your life that you can work on: relationship to yourself, body, love, spirituality, career & money, time, home, family, friends, fun & adventure, community and contribution. For each one, you’re going to want to set an incredibly grand goal, and then draw that goal back to the present moment until you’ve set a goal for TODAY—Like a string. You should then write down both your long-term and short-term goals in the present tense and read them to yourself every day. Along with this mantra: “I am in control.” Because so long as you blame others or circumstance, you’ll never get anywhere.

Hence Lauren’s: “Maybe it’s me?”

She also talks about the power of promises. I have recaptured her take on goalkeeping vs making promises in the text below:

It’s one thing to set a goal, but it’s entirely another to make a promise. Promises matter because promises can do harm when they’re not kept. We feel shame, regret, sadness, and worry when a promise is not met. Which is why, like any powerful emotion, it can and should be used to our advantage. Read these two sentences out loud and feel the visceral difference:

  1. My goal is to lose 50 pounds by the end of the year.
  2. I promise to lose 50 pounds this year so that I can play with my daughter at the park. Feel the difference?

Now imagine if you did the same for each of your goals: What if you turned them into promises instead? After you write down your promises, share them with someone you love. Specifically, share them with someone who you know will forgive you if you fail, but who will also hold you accountable in case you’re faltering.

You can also listen to her on this podcast: