July 26, 2014; 22:56hrs
Ali: You’ve been away from your family for months and are leaving for another whole year for a fellowship?
Me: Yes I am. I need to work hard now for a better life for my family when I still…
Ali: Wait; Are you talking about your present family (wife and son) or one you are about to start?
Me: Uhmmmmm…have a good day!
To Ali, I was that one insensitive guy who put a career before his marriage.
A few months into the fellowship, reality sunk in. I was missing my wife and son. As I got to terms with it, my obligation of providing for my family requiring making monthly remittances off the stipend always left me financially limping. The best part was the emotional needs as explained by another married fellow; “As a lady, i need someone to talk to, share my troubles with and complement me when I put in an effort to look good. Your absence leaves a gap that others can use to….!!”
At this point, I knew I had to make some hard decisions.
April 13, 2015; 13:02hrs
From: John Mwebe
Subject: Request to defer my admission to Academic year 2016/2017
Hello IHS Admission Team,
I request to defer my admission for a Msc in Urban Management and Development to next year (2016/2017)…
When I pressed the send button, I realized that I had come to terms with reality! Before me were two choices; another year away from home (in school) or taking off time to be a husband and father. The line had been drawn. I had to decide what holds value in my life! I had just chosen the latter.