Home is where the heart is. A phrase used so many times for so many reasons, by some many individuals. In its simplest interpretation, home is wherever you feel the deepest affection; that place you feel loved and the most comfortable. For me, home was- is, with you. In the embrace of your arms- For it is there I learned the meaning of love; there I felt my most comfortable and assured self. In your embrace I felt the victory of many battles fought – lost and won.
Since your departure, I’ve been in a permanent state of homelessness. Unable to find comfort in this existence… constantly meandering through the ebbs and flows of this universe, I continue to trod in search of a home. As I walk these streets, I focus on all my energy on trying to let go. When I grow tired and weary, I draw strength from the memories of our times together and feel a sense of gratitude for the gifts I’ve received from you. Focusing on your smile and laughter creates an energy field that refuels my soul and restores my balance.
Though there is no home that will ever compare to the one I experienced with you, I know that your wish for me is to discover my own home. That place were purpose, identity, happiness and love are self-derived and are not contingent upon external forces. I now realize that walking around with my head fixed behind me, lamenting about what was and what should have been, does nothing to honor you or your memory. That your memory…You are best preserved by me honoring the present. So instead of fighting to let go, I will… let be.
Home is where the heart is, my heart is with you. LGT
I still have a long way to go, but I’m already so far from where I used to be…