If I had to describe self-doubt as a personage, which usually is my style to tackle most of the feelings I encounter during my journey, then I would describe it as a “friend” that makes your life hard not because he loves you and wants you to improve but because this is probably his nature. I am not trying to be fatalist by saying this but some things are still beyond my understanding so I cut them short and say “he’s just like that” (sounds paranormal too). I can already name 1 or 2 “friends” that would easily play this personage.

How self-doubt comes to your life? Well, as many things, from the main door. You let it in, actually before even that he knocks your door, you go call him and invite him to your place, serve him warm coffee; cookies and whatever he wants, he makes you hear what supports any idea that lower your intelligence, emotional intelligence and self-confidence, and the only statements that he agrees on are the ones that make your dreams look unreachable, makes your feelings looks wrong and inappropriate and as a bonus he supports your negative ego that pulls you away from any sort of success.

“The icing on the cake” is that your “friend” (and tell me if I am describing someone similar, because I think we all have someone as similar), will always attend your gatherings, for some reason you always invite him. You know why? Because you think he’s RIGHT. You think also that he’s very smart since all what he says is based on facts and he always has strong arguments. So you invite him, because he’s also charismatic and all your other friends, meant by that “feelings/situations”, like him too. Some of them will even form with him together a union, like the very easily influenced “self-esteem” or the very mean “Failure”.

Well, now that you have an idea about the “friend” I am talking about let me tell you in one word how to deal with him. UNFRIEND him. Do it. Save yourself.

I know that every time I met self-doubt, we became very close friends, since college, through every single job I had, definitely at my business and all my relationships and even now while doing my fellowship. He operates everywhere, has no borders and find all what you do a good subject. Every time that his presence became overwhelming I just unfriended him, but I know that I met many times the exact same kind of friend, then I unfriend them, and I kept surviving to this friendship-breakups back and forth. It’s a painful process, but so far that was the only way for me to go beyond any doubt or even any fact that made me feel any less.

Hard luck!

Safa H.

 

 

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