I had 2 big question marks on my brain that I wanted to resolve as I was coming to the US 6 months ago. One has been answered couple of months back and here comes the other one.
Why should I bother to work harder to climb up the corporate ladder or to study harder to obtain these certificates only to sprinkle in my resume? What is the motivation to do so when I’m going to stop working inevitably if I get pregnant with two babies at least? A lot of my friends from school have already started leaving work to focus on becoming full time moms. I’ve been reading blog postings by a mutual friend who is pregnant with her third child and got even more perplexed.
Nonetheless, I did figure out some justifiable plan to end this vicious cycle of irony. I owe it to my grandmother who led me to the light of wisdom.
Ever since I found out that my grandfather was severely sick and that this summer could be his last, I began calling my grandparents more often than ever. I mean that’s all I could do after all. Not having a religion, I felt like prayers were too one-way communication method: unsent messages, “MAILER-DAEMON: Failure Notices”, or phone calls that are never answered by the receiver. As a very action-oriented person, I picked up the phone and started chatting about the most trivial stuffs.
“What did you have for lunch?” I would ask my grandpa, and he would respond, “Why would you be curious of that?” My grandma commented, “You’ve been calling quite often lately.” Despite all those awkward moments, I kept on doing it. Perhaps without even recognizing myself, I was mimicking the book, “Howard’s Gift”, in my own way seeking to preserve the sagacity only the elders can accumulate over their lifetime.
Anyways, I was contending that there is no point for women to pursue professional career and education, because they are destined to look after their children and do only domestic work. I sighed, adding that I couldn’t imagine myself like that for the rest of my life. In response to my confession, she assured me that once the babies grow enough to attend preschool, I should definitely go back to work outside home as how most of women do in younger generation these days. “In order to compensate for the career break of 5~6 years assuming that I have 2 babies, women need higher degrees,” she explained. Aha!
She also advised that the most important factor is to find the right guy of your life. And I asked her, who has been caring my grandpa 24/7 these days—feeding him, helping him go to the bathroom and etc, if she feels like she has chosen the right man. She said, “Yes! We lived together since our hair was black until today when our hair is as white as spring onion roots. That proves it!” Hahaha. “Until the day black hair turns like spring onion roots” is a cliche in Korean to describe forever love.
By the way, another jolly news; I’ve been telling both my grandpa that I love him and my grandma that I love her. I know it’s cheesy but my telepathy worked! My dad told me that my grandpa’s condition got better recently. I think I contributed to his recovery a fair bit. 😉