Before we start talking about failure and different approaches that people have towards failure, let’s understand what failure means. It’s basically failing to do something that you had decided in a given frame of time or the lack of success. Now, if we look at the reasons of failure, there can be many depending upon the type of failure for instance, the simplest example would be, if someone decides to pass an entrance examination in order to join the army, he/she gives the examination and fails. The reasons could be many, for eg: lack of time to prepare, lack of preparation, no sincerity in studying etc.
But why are we talking about failure today ?
Well, it is one very important aspect of every human’s life, which shapes their learning, experiences, successes and makes them who they are. But the approach towards failure is the one that decides how the failure shapes a person and his/her successes. Let us look at the different approaches:
1. Negative Approach – People following this approach after failing only blame all external factors, like this did not go right and that went wrong, I gave my 100 % but they are stupid to not take me etc. They blame others for their failure and do not take their responsibility which ultimately stops them to do better in future and they do not really learn anything from the failure. Because they think they did everything they could and blame others for their failure, they never sit down and analyze the results and the reasons which prohibits them to learn from their mistakes and failure. According to them they did no mistakes.
2. Obsessive Approach – In this approach, people after failing only blames themselves, even if the reason of their failure could be an external factor which they could have done nothing about. These kind of people never consider external factors, they put themselves down and are really hard at themselves. The good thing about them is that they are hard to themselves, they expect a lot out of them but the bad thing about them is they never look at the external factors causing the failure. Always being hard on one self is not good, because it cultivates a habit of putting yourself down and not valuing your own efforts. They do not look at failure as a learning and doing better next time, they look at it as a defeat, as if they were not good enough, and get depressed for long time because they expected too much out of themselves and fail to analyze the overall factors causing the failure.
3. Right Approach – In this approach, a person after failing sits down quietly and analyzes the reasons, they will see where they lacked in preparation and what were the external factors resulting to their failure, if there were any. They really feel bad and defeated but they learn from their failing experience, they feel bad and are also hard to themselves but they channelize all that energy to do do better next time by trying harder. They do not waste time blaming themselves too much or being too hard on themselves. They fail, analyze, feel bad, learn and do better next time.
4. The Chiller Approach – In this approach, a person after failing does not really cares about analyzing why he/she fails and thinks failing is fine, because it is an experience but does not really learn anything from it. They are not hard on themselves or anyone else. They are all calm and relaxed because they did not try hard enough so they do not really feel bad enough. They just heard the concept – failure is okay if you learn from it, but fail to learn form it. This is very bad approach because you are inculcating a habit of failing and being okay and not learning from it. It does not pushes you to go ahead in life.
Now out of all the above 4 approaches, the ideal approach to failure is the 3rd Approach which I have named as the Right approach towards a failure. It teaches you to prepare and work hard for your goal so that you can achieve it, but in case when you fail to achieve it, feel bad but then analyze why you failed and learn from the mistakes and take it as an experience to not fail again in the future.
“Failure is a very important part of success”
Have the right approach to failure, learn from it and move to success!