Self-mastery is an intentional practice of letting-go: Opening the door of your heart and letting go hurts, pains and sometimes gains.

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One of the greatest achievements in life is self-mastery and peace of mind. Your peace is still one of the most important goals you should aim to achieve in life. Oftentimes, we unwittingly starve ourselves of joy and happiness by holding tenaciously to crippling beliefs,  past hurts and ill-fated grievances. For a fact, two things seem constant in life: one is the dynamism of a consistent change, and another in my opinion, is human frailty. We beget the tendency both for greatness as well as the demeaning tendency to be beastly! But we can CHOOSE to go for greatness and nobility by letting go of those retrogressive proclivities; those hurts, grievances and negative attitudes that get us stuck in life.

Why it hurts to keep hurting.

People will often hurt you. Circumstances will sometimes prove unfavorable; you will be disappointed at some points and so on. This is typical of life. But your approach and reaction to such circumstance is entirely your decision to make. Every time you dwell on past hurts and negative circumstances, you produce more results consistent with  negative, hateful, hurtful feelings and realities.

Beyond, the spiritual downsides to holding grudges and hateful feelings, it is both stressful and absolutely inimical to your mental and physical wellbeing.( A good number of our ailments can be tied to how we feel, by the way!).  Deep down, if you’re sincere with yourself, you’d realise its painstaking to put yourself together at such moments. It’s interesting to note that virtually all aspects of our success in life is hinged on how we feel and think about ourselves and others. If your feelings and thoughts are consistently good, you’re most likely to have more positive people, events and circumstances around you. If you often feel negative, disgruntled, hateful and frigid about others, it simply tells in the results you get.

You Are Justified in getting Hurt

Make no mistakes about it, when you’re offended or hurt about someone or something in your life, you’re absolutely right to feel bad. That’s absolutely normal and no one should deprive himself of the right to feel this way. But the question you may want to address is, whether it pays to be right or it proves healthier to be happy. You probably want to go for happiness. I think its your best choice. Your ability to achieve your peace of mind is largely a factor in determining your overall success and happiness in life.

Your Happiness Depends on You.

Mahatma Gandhi once said:
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in


Your overall happiness depends on you, your attitude and your perspective about life. No one is responsible for what goes on  in your life; You are! A whole lot of good can be gained from embracing and displaying a positive attitude. Whats going on in you is absolutely more important than what’s outside of you. Inner peace, contentment, and happiness are fruits of a positive attitude.

Many fall in love with their suffering: they think about their problems and pains all the time. They say it, imagine it, think it and actually live it. What is your attitude to life?  Indeed, its a beautiful decision to embrace peace and joy. As a matter of fact, you can choose today to employ your heart, mind and thoughts in that which is positive , friendly, joyful, and consistently great.

Take responsibility and forgive. Yes forgive! Actually, you forgive not because you grant others a favour; no, you forgive so you can experience spiritual, mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual freedom. Forgive your past; your present. Forgive your friends. Forgive your parents. Forgive the government. Forgive the system. Forgive your leaders. Forgive nature. Forgive God! In your heart of hearts, forgive Yourself. Decide once and for all to be free; to experience freedom and bask in the ambience of a peaceful thrill, joy, cheerfulness, healthy-living, self-actualisation and ultimately fulfilment! You were made for happiness! LET IT GO!

About the Author

Fidelis Bonaventure Uzoma  is a personal growth strategist and human capital development professional with over six years of experience within the training and development sector in Nigeria. Fidelis is the Executive Director at Diplo-Age where he designs, coordinates, and manages capacity building projects, talent acceleration, career readiness, and professional development programs for start-ups, entrepreneurs living with disabilities, college graduates, corporate organizations, NGOs, and educational institutes. He is also as a founding member of Youth Aid Development Foundation (YADF), a nonprofit that provides economic empowerment opportunities, job assistance, and psycho-social support programs for at-risk youth and persons with disabilities in Africa. He currently serves as an Atlas Corps Fellow at the Obama Foundation, Washington DC, working with the International Team in designing, developing, and deploying high-impact leadership programs in Africa, Asia, and Europe.